Joanne's home?

[Maureen Johnson]

Maureen sighed as she walked into the apartment. She had been down at the performance space trying to work on something but she ended up mostly just thinking about her and Joanne. Things had been getting bad between them again. For a while there things had been so good. After Mimi's near death experience everything had been good. Everyone was so nice to each other because they were afraid of losing each other but they all slowly slipped back to their argumentative ways. Especially Joanne and Maureen.

Joanne was always at work again and Maureen hated that. She loved having Joanne around the apartment to spend time with her and talk to her and just be a couple. When she was always working it wasn't the same and Maureen felt like it wasn't even a relationship anymore. She knew Joanne was their source of income but did she have to overwork herself so much? It was ridiculous!

Because Joanne was always at work Maureen had gone back to her old ways of flirting. She hadn't cheated. She was afraid to cheat on Joanne because she didn't want to mess things up even more. She actually loved Joanne even though things were currently pretty rough. She just wished things could go back to how they were a few weeks ago. It had been perfect. Joanne took her out to eat and they went to the movies and things like that. They actually did things together and enjoyed each other's company.

When she sat down on the couch, continuing to think about her messy relationship she heard someone in the kitchen. She immediately got up and checked and sure enough Joanne was in there. Finally she wasn't at work! Finally they would get to spend time together.

She was so happy to see her that she ran over to her and hugged her, kissing her on the lips quickly.

"Hi, Pookie!" She exclaimed cheerfully. "You're actually home at the same time as me for once! It's a nice surprise," she told her with a grin.

[Joanne Jefferson]

Joanne was exhausted. She was working sixty hour weeks lately, because they had a major murder trial going on at work. Normally, she would not be the main lawyer on the case, but lately.. things with her father hadn't been so great. Joanne was worried about his health, but he kept insisting everything was fine. Even though it.. obviously wasn't.

So, she was worrying about her father, working sixty hours a week, and stressed about this case. Murder cases.. well, they were never relaxing, that was for sure.

In any case, with all of this going on, Joanne was OBVIOUSLY incredibly stressed. And when she did get to just be at home and relax, she wanted to be able to do with Maureen. But, apparently that was impossible. When the two of them were actually home together, which would usually be late at night, Maureen would be annoyed at how late Joanne got home, or would have just gotten in herself after doing who knows what at the bar all night and they would fight.

Now, it's not that Joanne didn't understand Maureen's frustration, but she did NOT understand how Maureen could be acting like it was somehow her fault. Granted, Maureen never seemed interested in details, so she probably didn't understand how stressful the case was, but she DID know about her concerns about her father and that never seemed to make a damn difference either. So, yeah. Things at home.. not so good lately.

And, now, on top of everything else, Joanne was sick. She must have eaten something bad the night before, because she had been.. er.. sick all day at work until finally she'd just had to leave. So, now she was home. Maureen wasn't. Shocker.

Hearing Maureen come into the kitchen, Joanne turned and was about to say something when she felt the kiss. She laughed slightly.

"You're just lucky I brushed my teeth." she said with a groan walking into the living room and lying down on the couch. "I've been sick all day. I kind of want to die a little bit."

[Maureen Johnson]

Maureen smiled when she heard Joanne’s laugh. She missed that sound so much. She hadn’t heard it in ages. She was either too stressed to laugh or not home at all. It really sucked but Maureen hoped that would all change. She was aware that Joanne had stuff going on with her family as well as work but she still didn’t see why they couldn’t be couple like because of it. She was willing to help Joanne through what she was going through if she would just let her.

“Aww, Pookie, you’re sick?” She asked as she made room on the couch and laid with her girlfriend.

It felt so good to just lay there with her. Even if she was sick, it was nice to have to spend with her and have her company. She just hoped Joanne didn’t vomit in front of her. She didn’t handle vomit very well. Whenever one person vomited it was a chain reaction and Maureen would throw up as well. It was just one of those things that freaked her out.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” She asked, sitting up a little bit and massaging Joanne’s shoulders. They were incredibly tense, it was ridiculous. “Baby, your shoulders are like rocks!” She said, giggling a little bit. “I think you need to just relax and stop being so tense. That’s probably why you’re sick. You’ve got too much stress on you right now.”

[Joanne Jefferson]

Joanne smiled when Maureen came and lay down on the couch next to her. And then when she heard her be all sympathetic and what not.. it felt really nice. It felt like old times.

She sighed with contentment as Maureen began to massage her. This felt nice.. this felt good.. and then...

Maureen spoke.

Now, really, Maureen didn't mean anything by what she said. But at that moment Joanne was SO stressed and SO overtired.. she just reacted.

"You would be stressed too if you had to deal with what I have to deal with, Maureen." she snapped. "You don't - you can't even begin to understand. How do you suggest I get UNstressed? Can you explain that to me? How?"

[Maureen Johnson]

Maureen was just working on unknotting Joanne’s shoulder muscles so she wouldn’t be as tense and then she heard her snap. It pissed Maureen off. Here she was trying to be nice and caring towards her girlfriend and she got snapped at? THIS was why they were having problems. Joanne’s stress was carrying into their relationship and she wasn’t letting Maureen help at all!

“Joanne, you need to calm down. There is no reason at all for you to be snapping at me like this. I was just trying to be helpful and understanding towards you and you decide to yell at me? What a wonderful girlfriend you are,” she retorted before walking away from Joanne and going into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Not only did Joanne’s words make her mad but it hurt her too. She was TRYING to understand the stress her girlfriend was going through but she wasn’t letting her. And then she yelled at her for not being understanding? How fair was that?

[Joanne Jefferson]

Joanne said nothing when Maureen walked away, although she did wince when she heard the door slam.

After that, it was like that set off the emotions. Her eyes filled with stressed, tired - no, exhausted, scared tears. She didn't need this. She needed Maureen to understand.

But, she knew deep down that this time, Maureen was right. Okay, so she was being a little bit dramatic, but.. she hadn't done anything wrong and she had been trying to help and Joanne had snapped at her. That wasn't fair.

With a sigh, she pulled herself up off the couch and walked slowly into the bedroom. She opened the door and saw Maureen lying on the bed. She hesitated for a second, but then lay down next to her, draping her arm around the diva's frame.

"Sorry." she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut, to block the tears.

[Maureen Johnson]

Maureen glared at Joanne when she walked into the room. She was still angry with her girlfriend. But then when she laid down and apologized and Maureen saw her tears, she felt bad. She hated to see Joanne crying and she could tell she really was sorry. She couldn’t stay mad at her for another second. Frustrated with their relationship? Maybe. But not mad at Joanne.

“I’m sorry too,” she whispered back as she brought her hand up to wipe Joanne’s tears away. “I know you have a lot going on and I’m trying to understand what you’re going through. I really am, Joanne. But it is hard to do that when you push me away every chance you get. You say you want me to understand but really you just isolate yourself. And not to be self centered but I need some love and attention too, Joanne. I don’t like being neglected by the people I love,” she told her.

Maureen sighed after she spoke, obviously frustrated with their situation. She was glad they were talking it out though. It was the first time they had talked, really talked, about their situation and it was very much needed. They needed to understand each other better.

[Joanne Jefferson]

Joanne didn't interrupt Maureen, even though she very desperately wanted to. But, when she was done, she knew that she had to be honest.

"You're not being fair." she whispered, keeping her arms firmly around Maureen to let her know that she wasn't being mean nor did she want her girlfriend to storm off again. "I'm not neglecting you. I just.. I can't. I can't call you during the day anymore like I want to. I can't come home for lunch and take days off, I want to. I close my eyes at night and I see fucking case studies. I sleep four hours a night at the most and I am constantly feeling like shit. And everytime that I think that maybe I could just.. take a day off or something, Frank's face flashes through my mind. He didn't do it, Mau." she sobbed out. "I know he didn't. And what if I fuck up? What if he goes to jail because I can't handle this? I'm not good enough for this, I'm not ready for this, I'm not my dad, I can't - I can't do this. I can't mess up. I can't take a break, because that could make or break this man's life. Oh my god, what am I doing? Why am I doing this?"

She sat up fast and pulled her knees to her chest trying to focus on her breathing and not have a total and complete meltdown.

[Maureen Johnson]

Maureen softened a bit more when Joanne opened up to her. She had been waiting for this for weeks now but she was glad Joanne’s feelings were finally out there. It was going to make working the relationship out so much easier than before. Maureen even began to feel guilty after hearing the way Joanne was seeing things in her mind. She was seriously freaking out.

“Joanne, sweetheart,” she whispered softly as she sat up and hugged her, hoping to calm her down. “You can do this. I know you can. You’re a great lawyer. You win cases all the time and if Frank didn’t believe you could help him then he wouldn’t have come to you. You need to clear your mind and relax first. It will be so much easier for you to think that way,” she told her.

She was really trying to help the lawyer. Maureen didn’t know much about law but she did know her girlfriend was a great lawyer. She had watched one of her cases before and she annihilated every person in that court room. If Joanne couldn’t win this murder case then no one could. Maureen was confident about that.

[Joanne Jefferson]

Joanne shook her head, gently removing Maureens arms from around her.

"But, he didn't. Come to me. He came to my dad and my dad gave it all to me, I don't know why he thinks I can do this, I can't.. I just.. I can't.. I need to.. fuck, I can't be here right now, I have to.. maybe I can find.. oh my fucking god."

She stood up and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her where she once again emptied the contents of her stomach.

Then, she weakly stood up and leaned against the counter. She knew she had to take a break. She did. It's not like she was going to be productive like this anyway.

She brushed her teeth and then opened the door and walked back into the bedroom. Getting back onto the bed, she looked into Maureen's eyes with her own tear filled ones.

"Help me." she whispered. "Please. Help me relax."

[Maureen Johnson]

When Joanne ran into the bathroom Maureen would have followed her to hold her hair back but there was that problem with her and vomit. If she saw it then it would be like a chain reaction. So she just waited in the bedroom until Joanne came back and when she did Maureen could see she felt really shitty.

She looked into the lawyer’s eyes and heard her words and knew she had to help her. She seemed desperate for a way to relax and feel better. Probably partially because she didn’t like feeling crappy but it was probably also because she wanted to get to work to help Frank.

She laid down next to Joanne and curled into her for a moment, trying to think of a way to calm her down.

“Okay, baby, you’re going to have to try to push everything out of your mind right now. Just try and pretend like only me and you exist right now in our own little world,” she told her. “Can you try and do that?”

[Joanne Jefferson]

Joanne waited feeling all.. vulnerable and crazy like this. But, she knew she had to trust Maureen. She had to... not only because she loved her and SHOULD be trusting her, but because if she didn't relax, she was going to absolutely lose her mind.

So, she nodded her head slowly and closed her eyes, blocking all thoughts except for those of her and her lover. She felt Maureens arms around her and inhaled her scent. It was helping.

For about a second. And then Frank was back in her head. Her eyes flew open and her breathing became shallow again.

She told herself to calm down again and reminded herself that Maureen was here and loved her.

She took another shaky breath and squeezed Maureen's hands tightly. "Keep going." she whispered. "Please. I need you to.. please."

[Maureen Johnson]

Maureen smiled when she saw Joanne taking her instructions and attempting to relax. She got worried when her eyes suddenly opened but then she realized Frank’s face must have appeared in her mind. She was happy to see she didn’t let it bother her too much though. She just went back to trying to relax and seemed to be trying really hard. Maureen had to give her credit for that.

“Okay, we’re alone, just me and you. We’re the only ones that exist and nothing else is important,” she whispered to her as she massaged Joanne’s shoulders once again, letting her lips brush the skin of her neck as she did so.

Even though this was all about relaxing Joanne, Maureen was benefiting from it as well. She was getting the alone time with Joanne that she always craved and she was getting a chance to help her which didn’t happen often. Joanne never let anyone help her.